TwinsUK members, Claire and Jill tell their unique story of adoption, betrayal, growth and personal discovery for the first time
Our mother, Johanna, gave birth to identical twins in 1961 at the age of 21, after an affair with a married man who was from Belize. We were put into care at a young age as she couldn’t take care of us and we were in and out of foster and children’s homes, but were never separated. At the age of 4 we were adopted by a childless, affluent couple in suburban Surrey. They told us from an early age that we had been adopted and we fully accepted them as loving and supportive parents. The greatest difficulty we faced, however, was not in being adopted, but in being a different colour to our parents, and as a family we often faced prejudice and racism. Our adoptive mother was often asked “But are they YOUR children?”
Phyllis Helen Scott – Claire and Jill’s adoptive mother
Jill and Claire at the age of nine
We were in the same class together through primary school and were first separated when Claire went to study languages in University and Jill trained as a nurse in London, but always remained the closest of friends. When Jill got married in the early ‘90s it became important for her to discover our roots. After a 6 month search, using our birth certificate, and clues from a will, she tracked down our biological mother’s ex-husband who fortunately had a rare Italian name. Against all advice from NORCAP (a specialist adoption support agency), we just knocked on the door and introduced ourselves. He agreed to tell our mother we had tried to get in touch and told us she had cried over us on our birthday. It shocked us to think she had been living just 10 miles away from us for the last 20 years!
Our mother, Johanna, then got in touch with us and a fairly good relationship ensued, although cracks soon appeared. At the time, Claire was living in Portugal with her husband and young son, and Johanna went to visit her and help out, but soon started asking Claire for money. Her values and ideals were so different to the ones our adopted parents had instilled in us. We went to Ireland to meet her extended family, but didn’t feel any connection at all and subsequently lost touch with Johanna.
Phyllis Helen Scott – Claire and Jill’s adoptive mother
In May 1996, we finally met our natural father, Carlin, and we felt an instant and warm connection to him. We had so many years to catch up on. However it was not to be; he visited Claire in Portugal with his 6 year old daughter Alix and told her that he had terminal cancer. He asked Claire to take care of Alix and be her guardian. Alix’s mother had died and Carlin didn’t want any other family member to take care of her, only Claire, who of course he had only recently met. Claire felt very privileged, but at same time, nervous and apprehensive at such a huge responsibility. After all, she had been asked to take care of a child she didn’t know, and would be taking her away from her extended family and bringing her up in Portugal. Carlin’s funeral, less than a year after we had first met him, was especially difficult as Claire came under scrutiny from Alix’s maternal family. They didn’t, however, attempt to fight the decision about Alix’s guardianship.
Sebastiao and Alix
In the mean time, when Claire was asked by Carlin to take care of Alix, Jill wanted to support the decision and to be “the best ‘Auntie’ she could be, which meant numerous long-distance phone calls and visits between England and Portugal. Jill would often reassure Claire that in time Alix’s homesickness and tantrums would abate. The enormity of the long term commitment was always with both of us.
As Jill predicted, and with a lot of care and love, Alix soon began to fit in and call Claire “Mum”. Claire’s son, Sebastiao, who was almost 4 at the time would see her crying and would tell her “Don’t worry, you can share my Mum and Dad”. Alix and Claire were technically half-sisters, sharing a father of Belizean ancestry and had similar skin colour which helped bring them closer together. Alix and Sebastiao were brought up like brother and sister and Alix soon developed into a well-adjusted and confident person.
Alix’s mother had been a sculptress and as Alix was technically an orphan, the Artists General Benevolent Institution (one of the oldest charities in the UK, which supports orphans of artists) supported Alix financially through her schooling. The charity is currently paying her university fees and Alix will be graduating as a dentist in May 2016.
Jill has two grown sons, Jason and Bradley, who have a great relationship with Alix, their ‘young auntie’ and find it amusing they are so close in age; they are proud of their unique relationship and closeness with her, as well as their cousin, Sebastiao. The two families have shared memorable holidays, sitting round the dinner table, laughing and sharing stories.
Phyllis Helen Scott – Claire and Jill’s adoptive mother
We are now in the process of reconnecting with our natural father’s family in Belize and are looking forward to becoming closer to our father and his Mayan roots by visiting Belize in the not too distant future to meet his family. We know this is a unique story to those who read it, encompassing adoption, death, betrayal, identity, growth and personal discovery, but it is the only one we have ever known. We have a lot of “what if’s” and “ if only’s..” but at the end of the day we have each other.